Kerry Katonas split heartache over Ryan Im worried hell leave me

Although Kerry Katona can’t wait to walk down the aisle and marry her fiancé of three years Ryan Mahoney, she’s been telling pals she’s worried she might get “hurt again”.

The 43-year-old, who has been married three times before, is set to get hitched to the 32-year-old professional fitness trainer in a Vegas ceremony next year.

However, her previous romantic failures seem to be getting the better of Kerry and she can’t help but worry “she will be left heartbroken” for the fourth time.

“Kerry is so loved up with Ryan, as he is with her, and it feels like she’s finally found someone who won’t let her down,” a source exclusively told new. “However, no matter how much she’s reassured from friends, family and Ryan himself, she can’t shake that feeling that she will be left heartbroken again.

“She’s suffered with abandonment issues her whole life, and so it’s only natural she’s nervous as their wedding day draws closer that she’s facing another split heartache. She keeps telling friends she’s worried she will fail again.”

It’s no secret that Kerry has been through the wringer with her love life since catapulting to fame as one third of Atomic Kitten in 1998. The star’s first marriage to Brian McFadden was short-lived and he famously cheated on her with a lap dancer on his stag do.

After calling it quits with Brian she married her mum’s “drug dealer” Mark Croft in 2007 in a Gretna Green ceremony, but he reportedly slept with a former flame in the days following their engagement and by the end of their marriage left her bankrupt.

Kerry, who’s mum to Molly, 22, Lilly, 20, Heidi, 16, Max, 15, and nine-year-old Dylan-Jorge, then began trying to rebuild her life, and met George Kay in 2013.

She tied the knot with the former rugby league player in 2014, before they separated in 2017. George passed away in July 2019 from a cocaine overdose, but it later emerged that behind closed doors he was violent towards Kerry – even when she was pregnant with their child, which she spoke about in memoir, Kerry Katona: Whole Again.

“Even as my stomach grew, he would push me over, kick me and spit in my face,” she wrote. “Soon after he’d apologise, tell me how much he loved me and gently let me know it was all my fault because I pushed his buttons. And then I’d be the one who was apologising.”

Kerry’s unlucky-in-love past is why it hardly comes as a surprise that she’s suffering from a few pre-wedding jitters.

“Each time she walked down the aisle she thought it was forever, so it’s no shock that she’s worried she’ll be left disappointed and heading to the divorce courts again,” the source continued.

“And while she often makes jokes and is very self-deprecating about her failed marriages, underneath it still hurts.”

Kerry has admitted that she has her own insecurities when it comes to men and has even delayed her wedding to Ryan as she doesn’t want things in their happy relationship to change.

“In all honesty, I don’t know when we’ll get married,” she previously said. “I just think if something is good, why do we need to change it?”

And in this week’s new column, Kerry reveals she is also having doubts about having a baby with her future husband, because “everyone she’s had a child with has left” her.

But friends close to Kerry have been reassuring her that with Ryan, who she met in 2018 after they matched on the dating app Bumble, things will be completely different.

“Ryan’s not like her previous husbands,” the source continued. “Kerry can’t quite believe how well it’s all going and can’t wait to be his wife, but even after five-and-a-half years of being together she still gets scared.”

No matter what her previous trauma is making her feel, it’s clear that Kerry has found her fairy-tale ending with Ryan.

“I just feel really calm and happy,” she told new after their engagement back in 2020. “And that’s because I know it’s right this time. But yeah, it was the most romantic ever, the most well thought out. The other proposals don’t even compare. It couldn’t have been more perfect.”

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